swolizard:

napping naked on top of a girl you like is one of the best things you can ever do. like not completely on her but your legs between hers, head on her boobs/ stomach while she’s scratching your head and back. thats the shit i look forward to when Im married

keepongaming:

last year i was eating in a fancy, large restaurant when i began to hear a rumble and the distant sound of people chanting ‘potassium, potassium’ and suddenly hundreds of people dressed as bananas flood this restaurant chanting potassium over and over and we were trapped there for a very long time because the bananas would not leave and they were everywhere

image
imagei wasn’t joking


(Source: kayla-surico)

mescalineforbreakfast:

Kinda wanna have sex

Kinda wanna sleep for 12 hours

Kinda wanna eat 2 large pizzas